Enjoy the SEXxxxxY night.,.,. (Elkhart, 46517 , Elkhart County)
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Turning another year older...help me have fun!My birthday is coming up soon and I want to have fun. I want to be the center of attention. I work hard and do well...I deserve to be spoiled every now and then, right?I'm a SBF, not really looking for anything long-term right now, but I guess anything is possible.I'm 5'8", thick/curvy, educated and would love to go out and have fun for my birthday.You are:-5'10" or over-body size isn't important, but please be clean-genuinely happy to make my birthday amazing-intelligent and interesting -able to drive Please keep in mind that I want to have fun and be spoiled! If you think you can handle this task, shoot me an email with "I can spoil you" in the subject line. Please provide a pic, and I will do the same!
Tinder Elkhart (Elkhart, Indiana )
Interested? Read on, my darling cinnamon streusel and I shall list some of the things that make me the glittering gem of amazement that I am. THE AWESOME: *I give great gifts *My mind is my own *I'll call you on your bullshit & won't punch you in the face when you call me on mine....probably *I'll watch UFC with you *I'm a pretty great hula hooper *I'm an excellent kisser *I play a pretty mean kazoo *I use my blinker *I'm just as comfortable in a fancy restaurant as a funky dive bar....although, I have a preference for funky dives. *I can rollerskate *I'm considerate - please refer to point #3 about probably not punching you in the face. See? Considerate. *I have some pretty sweet dance moves *I'm almost always on time *I'll play video games with you *I'll put the toilet seat UP for you after I pee....but only at your house *I'll build a fort in the living room with you *I'm pretty damn funny *I would donate a kidney for you - just for fun, not because you needed it *I'll bring you soup & popsicles when you're sick *I'll proof read your papers *I'll push you on the swings *I'll make you amazing mixed CD's *I'll tell you bedtime stories *I won't care if you eat with your fingers *I don't know karate, but I know carazy *I'll buy you prizes from gumball machines *I'll make you laugh when you're upset....or just piss you off even more. *I like driving fast *I love stormy weather Music - mainly Indie, but there's also a lot of Hip-Hop, Jazz, Classical, Rock, blah blah blah, on my iPod Books - John Irving, Tom Robbins and Christopher Moore are some of my favorites Movies - I mostly dig the Independent kinda stuff, Wes Anderson, Coen Brothers, John Waters. Or really, really bad stuff, like Showgirls. THE MAYBE NOT SO AWESOME: *I'm curvy, plus size, not skinny, voluptuous, fat, rubenesque - insert synonym of choice, here. *I'm sassy, sarcastic, acerbic, bitchy. Whatevs. *I'm politically incorrect and a big fan of shock value *My sense of humor is rather sophomoric - think Sarah Silverman. Poop jokes never get old. Ever. *I have tattoos - big, obvious tattoos and plan on many more *I've bottle fed baby squirrels - I'm not sure why this one is bad, it just popped into my head *I have an irrational fear of chickens - I know, I know. I told you it was irrational, didn't I? *I curse like a sailor *I don't like fish, but I love sushi *I belch *I'll try to convince you to let me paint your toenails *I like to wear disguises to places like the bank & grocery store *I only like fresh squeezed orange juice. Shame on you, Tropicana. Who do you think you're fooling??? *I put clothes on my dog *I've grown tired of writing this ad There you have it, my darling banana pancake. ME. If you've made it this far and are so inclined to send me an email, please tell me a bit about what makes you so freakin' awesome. *****Oh, and by the way***** If your response is gonna be, "I'm a guy, I like awesome things. Got a picture?" or something along those lines, don't bother. I won't respond. Make it worth my while. And pleeeease, for the love of all that is sacred - DO NOT USE "LOL"...because we both know you didn't really laugh out loud...and if you do really laugh out loud after every sentence you type, you need medication. Seriously. Because you're crazy. *****That concludes this announcement*****Now get to wooing, sucka!